Since the abrupt end (a rather crudely executed end on my part) to my last relationship, I have enjoyed the many fruits of singledom including, inter alia, unused phone credit that rolls over to the next month and not being reprimanded for 'accidental exhibitions' of flatulence.
But even the sweetest of fruits grow bitter in time (and no doubt rotten) and my career as a bachelor has spanned two years and four months - that's two years and four months of being a wanker (take that however you will). Perhaps it's time to hang up the boots.
Given that I have not made any serious attempts to be in a relationship, my unwavering bachelor status during these years could mean only one of two things:
- All the ladies have been trying their hardest to refrain from approaching me (and indeed, from clinging onto my left leg).
- No ladies have been interested in me.
Speaking rationally, option one seems to be the more likely case, however if I am to make a serious attempt at ending my unbroken run of singledom, then I would assume the latter and take a prudent course of action - I will make the approach.
And thus ends my conscious desire to remain single. Ok ladies... you can stop trying to not approach me now... Hello? Anyone? My left leg is free...
Ah fuck.
I'm in for a long ride.
