Quoting Kafka

Meditation: The Rejection

When I meet a pretty girl and beg her: 'Please be so kind and come along with me,' and she goes by without saying a word, what she means is:

'You are no duke with extravagant name; no broad American, built like Red Indian, with level imperturbable gaze, whose skin has been massaged by the winds of the prairies and the waters of the rivers flowing through them; you have made no journeys to the great lakes and voyaged there, wherever these may be found. So why, I ask you, should a pretty girl like me go along with you?'

'You forget that no limousine carries you in long thrusts swaying through the street; nor can I see your escort of gentlemen, pressed into their suitings, following behind you in a strict semi-circle and murmuring their blessings on your head; your breasts are indeed neatly ordered in your bodice, but your thighs and hips make up for that restraint; you're wearing a taffeta dress with pleats, like those which delighted every one of us last autumn, and yet - with this mortal danger upon you - you smile from time to time.'

'Yes, we are both quite right; and to keep us from being irrefutably aware of it we'd better, don't you think, go our separate ways home.'

The Wanker's Modern Translation:

When I meet a hot chick and go: "wanna hook up?" and she goes by without saying a word, what she means is:

"You are no good-looking stud with fame; no African-American, buff, with mesmerising eyes and a big package; you have no fortune which I can leech off after a divorce, following a brief unromantic marriage. So why, I ask you, should a hot chick like me go home with you?"

"You forget that no limousine carries you around, nor can I see an army of hot guys trailing you, in their bulging tank-tops and skinny jeans, asking for your number; yeah, you have a nice rack but you also have tree trunks for legs and that floral dress was kinda last season, and yet - you reckon you're the hottest shit."

"Yes, I think we are both right. And to stop us from being aware of it (of our insufficiencies) we should go our separate ways home."

The Wanker was asked out (quick entry)

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been asked out by a lady to go home with her.

Rub your eyes and read that again.

The events transpired thus:

7:00 - left home without my wallet.

7:15 - realised that I left home without my wallet. Smacked myself over the head.

7:20 - told that the Cabramatta Station ticket machine was broken and that I should buy a ticket at Central.

7:23 - fell asleep on the train, mouth gaping wide.

8:10 - arrived at central. Woke with a fright, droplets of drool scattered in the air like shards of glass in the sunlight.

8:20 - Waiting in line to buy a ticket, behind some lady.

8:21 - lady turns around. Obviously a deranged hobo of some sort. Looks at me in the eye and begins muttering. At first, could not distinguish what she was saying, until discovering that she was repeatedly asking: "Wanna come home with me?"

8:22 - lady stopped asking me to go home with her, looked at me sternly and said that I was too ugly to take home anyway and hobbled off.

8:23 - woke from momentary shock. Felt dirty and insulted.

That lady stole my "chick asking me to take her home" virginity. God. It's like a shit version of How I Met Your Mother.

Indecision

Life assails us with a myriad of dichotomies. It's all too easy in theory to pick one side or another; after all, it's a fine line to cross when opposing circumstances, objects, or whatever it may be, are placed tangentially in perfect alignment. In truth, we often hover precariously over that line pondering indecisively as to which way to sway when faced with a boolean decision. To make things worse, we are so familiar; so conditioned; to the notion of a split choice that at times we assume, as if a dichotomising automaton, that there is a split choice to be made, when in fact, those two supposedly distinct elements, can be desegregated into gradients that eventually dissolve into one another, like a spectrum of light. Put simply, it's not always a simple case of yes or no; sometimes, there's a maybe. Sometimes there's a yes with a condition and so forth.

Indeed it is frustrating when one observes a person P (for convenience's sake) for instance, falling victim to their oversimplifying tendencies, for to an observer, it seems obvious that there are many options available, yet P's eyes are devoted solely to one direction or another, like a crossroads in a trail. P is the type, you see, who will fail to notice the escalator to the left of a treacherous path lined with thorned bushes because P thinks in two dimensions and cannot fathom the notion of travelling in a direction that is not a relative left or right.

Inherent in dichotomising a situation, is excessive melodrama placed on a decision. This is certainly justifiable. One cannot help but apply intense gravity on a decision when one believes that there are only two outcomes available, of which both are inversely related. What is not justifiable, is dichotomising the situation in the first place, to spur such unnecessary melodrama - self-induced indecision. If we were not so basic in our thoughts, we need not subject ourselves to the torture of indecision, and since we do not operate in a bubble, and necessarily interact within complex social mechanisms, we should spare others from the torture of one's indecision too. Open up your mind. There are more courses of action than you think.