The Wanker was asked out (quick entry)

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been asked out by a lady to go home with her.

Rub your eyes and read that again.

The events transpired thus:

7:00 - left home without my wallet.

7:15 - realised that I left home without my wallet. Smacked myself over the head.

7:20 - told that the Cabramatta Station ticket machine was broken and that I should buy a ticket at Central.

7:23 - fell asleep on the train, mouth gaping wide.

8:10 - arrived at central. Woke with a fright, droplets of drool scattered in the air like shards of glass in the sunlight.

8:20 - Waiting in line to buy a ticket, behind some lady.

8:21 - lady turns around. Obviously a deranged hobo of some sort. Looks at me in the eye and begins muttering. At first, could not distinguish what she was saying, until discovering that she was repeatedly asking: "Wanna come home with me?"

8:22 - lady stopped asking me to go home with her, looked at me sternly and said that I was too ugly to take home anyway and hobbled off.

8:23 - woke from momentary shock. Felt dirty and insulted.

That lady stole my "chick asking me to take her home" virginity. God. It's like a shit version of How I Met Your Mother.